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So long and happy trails
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Post So long and happy trails 
Have you ever had to "break up" with a friend? Why? How'd you do it?

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Yes, I had to "break up" with a woman I'd known since highschool because of her self destructive behavior. She was a wonderful, caring person, full of life and hope when she was sober, but when she would have a few drinks suddenly all she saw was what was wrong with her life, and everyone around her.

After a year of this roller coaster, complete with weekly suicide threat calls I had to sit down with her and explain why I could no longer be around her. I tried to explain as kindly, but as firmly as possible that I could not watch her destroy herself after all of us (friends, family, etc) had helped and asked her to change her behaviors.

It sucked, but I would have wound up in the same shape if I'd stayed, and she'd have never sought treatment.

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No, you don't break up with friends.

If for some reason a friend stops being a friend you simply stop contacting that person.

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Post The Power Of "I" 
Dora-
Someone once taught me if you start criticizing another or their actions, they will get defensive and combative. "You do X. You do Y." When you frame the conversation in terms of "I", it changes everything. Even tho it sounds wussie to me, "I'm not comfortable with X, and X, and X" is a statement that can't be argued with. Someone can throw up all kinds of denials about what they do and don't, but they can't argue with your feelings. "I can't be around X. It's not good for me." "I don't want to be a part of Y. It feels wrong to me". "I can't do Z. I don't want to be that way." Things like that.

I found the advice to be very helpful.

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Does this include the dating friends? If so, of course everyone has done a few.

For non-dating friends, you simply lose contact or don't return their phone calls or emails or invitations.

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