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WhatsUp
Joined: 31 Jul 2006
Posts: 971
Location: Twin Cities
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 Lessons of Extramarital Affair
Quite an interesting read from MSN Dating - "I was the other woman"
Quote:Lesson #1: It’s about sex, not love
As romantic as a head-over-heels love affair can first seem, it ultimately devolves into tawdry and quick assignations during his lunch hour or as his post-work workout. He already has a relationship and simply doesn’t have the time to cultivate another one. “When you’re so rushed for time because he has to get home for dinner, there’s not much you can do together but have sex,” explains Sue C., 31, from New Jersey. “So he comes over, you have sex, talk for a bit and then he showers and goes back to his wife. Cuddling? As if.” And isn’t luxuriating in the post-sex afterglow one of the best parts about intimacy? Granted, affair sex is almost inherently hot because of its forbidden element, but once that wears off, you’re feeling alone and empty.
Lesson #2: Don’t call him, he’ll call you
“What I hated most about having an affair was that I couldn’t reach my lover when I wanted to,” gripes Katya G., 29, from New York City. “I couldn’t call his office because he didn’t want anyone there to know about me or have any suspicions and, of course, I didn’t even have his home number.
Lesson #3: Saturday night? Try Wednesday afternoon
Get used to staying in. It’s not a cliché that you’re “sneaking around” when you’re having an affair. There’s no such thing as a romantic dinner out or strolling hand-in-hand in the park together. You may be in love, but you certainly won’t be shouting it from the rooftops or even from any neighborhood bar. “We could never go out, especially on the weekends,” says Sue. “Obviously, Saturday night was date night for him and his wife, so there was no way that was happening. Mainly, he’d come over to my place sometime during the week and we’d maybe get a few hours to hang out together.
Lesson #4: You’ll get plenty of alone time
Affairs are bad and everyone knows it, so when you start one, you become pretty selective when it comes to telling anyone about “your new boyfriend.” I remember telling a few close friends, and as hard as they tried to be supportive, I knew that they didn’t understand, were disappointed, or completely disapproved.
Lesson #5: Get ready for gut-wrenching guilt
If you have any sort of conscience, the guilt of what you’re doing will gnaw away at you. As much as I tried to justify my affair as the price of true love, the presence of his wife soon became very concrete and unbearable. He’d have to call her sometimes from my place to explain away his lateness, and I’d go into the other room and feel seedy. I also spent an inordinate amount of time on Google, looking for pictures, history, anything about this woman who was my rival as well as the blameless victim in this whole mess.
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| Mon Apr 16, 2007 11:35 am |
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thrice
Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 5875
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This ain't brain surgery. If a person is married, or in a serious relationship, they don't advertise themselves as available or bounce the springs with anyone else until they have ended that relationship, or taken very concrete legal steps to end it. If they get involved with someone else during such a relationship, they've already shown that they have the capacity to lie and decieve someone who trusts them. What more do you need to know about them?
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| Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:18 am |
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The Godfather
Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 304
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I find it interesting that this article, as are most of these articles is written from the woman's point of view. Because married women never have affairs....
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| Mon Jun 04, 2007 1:39 am |
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nomnnice
Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 459
Location: Minneapolis
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How about Lesson #6 - have more self-respect that to participate in an extramarital affair?
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| Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:39 am |
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