So I’m driving home, rocking out to Tool and puffing a butt, as is my habit after work. In the left lane, there’s a Toyota Prius, choking up the flow of traffic by going ten miles-an-hour under the speed limit.

After giving this person a half-mile to pull over into the Ninny Lane, I turned my lights on and flicked my brights a few times, the international signal for “Speed up or get the f*ck out of the way.”

Spotting a crease in the slow lane, I dart over, and proceed to pass her. (And trust me, it took a second to identify her as a “her”- she was sporting one those short haircuts complete with stupid bangs and looks completely high maintenance, more Little Lord Fauntleroy than Socially Conscious Liberal, which isn’t much of an improvement…)

Anyways, she looks over, waves her hands down, and mouths the words: “Slow down! It saves gas!”

In turn, I do the only thing that makes sense: I give her the finger and mouth back “Sucker!”

I sh*t you not, the crazy freak waves her index finger at me and says: “Tsk-tsk.”

I hit the gas, blew past her with ease, and drove home in a timely manner.

Now, I want to know: Where do these creeps with their toy cars get off controlling traffic one lane at a time? Do they actually believe in the hearts that they’re doing everyone a favor by driving these things? As a society, are we doomed to be judged by crazy people with bad haircuts and self-righteous sticks up their asses?

This was NOT how the west was won…

I have a Prius, but I drive at least 5 mph over the speed limit. I thought it was pretty funny that when Al Gore's son was busted for doing 103 in his Prius, they put it on their website so people would know a Prius could GO 103.

++

Don't blame the car. It's only a tool. The person driving happened to be a tool too, but that's another story.

Short of that, yeah I feel your pain. Slow people cause accidents. And slowing down does not save gas. At least not for my 97 Taurus. The sweet spot is between 60 and 75 mph. If I can hit the cruise there for a good distance I'll be pulling about 29 miles to the gallon, which the 97 Taurus isn't even rated for. Actually I don't know that any Taurus is rated for 29mpg. Anyways, beat me down to 55 and below for a good distance and my car will be sucking it big time.

I wouldn't mind a Prius but they're just too damned small. Which is a shame because they're really a choice car for nerds like me.

I've heard experts say that 60 mph is optimal gas mileage, and anything above that is wasteful.

I don't really care. I have places to be. I don't have a Prius, but I have a Camry, which gets pretty awesome mileage for a standard sedan. And, again. Let me repeat. I have places to be. I don't want to make it sound like I'm more important than anyone else - far from it. But, I'm not a recreational driver. If I'm on the road, I have somewhere to go and I want to get there as fast as I rationally can.

People who drive slowly in the fast lane kill me. KILL ME. What, exactly, are you doing in this lane? If there's only two lanes in this direction, then maybe I'll give you credit for allowing people to merge on and off the highway with less trouble. But, often when I'm frustrated with these cats it's because we're in the left lane of three, and there's no left exit coming up anytime soon. Which means the only reason you're in this lane is to be a complete and total douchesack. And I know you see me frowning at you because I just saw you look into your rearview mirror. I know you know I'm pissed. I know you know you should be driving at least the speed limit in this lane, if not more. I know you know you're doing this on purpose because you're a passive-agressive, Minnesota Nice piece of turd. You can't play dumb with me. You're not just happy to be out in the world. You're purposefully f'ing up my day, and I hate you. HATE YOU.

/rant

Just curious. Do you ever tell the person ahead of you to speed up by riding their ass? I've had this happen to me more times than I can count doing 70 in a 55 with slower cars to my left, and it's a huge pet peeve for me. I'll merge when I feel like I can safely do it, so hold your goddamn horses and don't $%#ing tailgate me! It's dangerous, especially with all the road construction; we never know when we're gonna have to slam on the brakes. When people do this to me, I put my hazards on. It's safe, it gets their attention, and it usually works.

I don't tailgate as it's more likely to cause a bender than anything. But that's what the brights are for...

No, I don't tailgate, and that brings up another issue.

Since I don't tailgate and try to leave enough room between my car and the one in front of me, there's always that a-hole who thinks that means it's his opportunity to get into my lane between us.

Boo.

Nothing against the brights. The fast lane is not made to stay in for any length of time. When there's moving traffic to my right, I'll join it.

I don't mind the brights so much except for when people use them in the dumbest possible circumstances. Two examples here.

First I'm driving in Tulsa on an 6 lane stretch. I'm in the middle right lane. The right lane is packed. There's a semi on my left who is creeping ahead of me slowly, and there's a semi barreling down on me from directly behind. I know I'm not going fast enough to make this guy happy, But I can't really do much about it. But he flashes his lights at me anyways and the blares his horn as he's forced to get over behind the semi who's passing me, but at a slower rate than what he wants to be doing. Whatever, I'm at 5 mph over already and I've got out of state plates. Blow.

The other example is here on 100 south bound in St Louis Park. It's about 3 am. I'm in the middle lane. Mini van off to my right with some jackhole who wants to be doing 80 behind him and flashing his lights at him. From behind me comes a car whos lights start flashing before they really even get to me. They ride me for a bit and THEN suddenly realize that there are literally no cars in sight in the left lane, and then uses that to pass me and flip me off. I was doing about 65 there, where the speed limit is 55. Some people.

Don't even get me started on merging.

Quote:

Since I don't tailgate and try to leave enough room between my car and the one in front of me, there's always that a-hole who thinks that means it's his opportunity to get into my lane between us.

Don't I know it...

praecorloth wrote:

Don't even get me started on merging.

Well, since you mentioned it, now I'm thinking about it.

I almost got into a crash this morning on my way to work because I didn't acknowledge that the guy merging onto the highway had the right of way. What's that, you say? He didn't have the right of way? Oh, that would explain it. I would have moved over to let him merge as he pleased were I able to. But, there were cars next to me, and I have the friggin' right of way.

Another thing which probably complicates the merging factor...are people aware that entrance ramps are also known as acceleration ramps? The reason a majority of on/off ramps are hills so that you're going down to enter and up to exit is to assist in natural acceleration/deceleration. When you turn to get on a highway, SPEED UP! It will be a much smoother merge into traffic if you're going near highway speed by the time you get up there. My absolute pet peeve is people who merge into the lane I'm in and they're going about 10 mph. Even worse - the people who are behind the truck going 10 mph so they skip over two lanes and block traffic because they're only going 12 mph.

Eek, traffic makes me cross.

I went to school in Dallas. The entrance ramps there were just as long as ours, but the stoplight was about five feet before the highway. It was the absolute worst of both worlds. Traffic backed up, usually for no discernable reason, and then it was impossible to merge safely into traffic.

My other favorite practice was their habit of repainting new lanes on the highway and leaving the old ones underneath. Nothing like driving between two 18 wheelers when the lane you seem to be in comes to a point and disappears!

They also placed about five reflective glass buildings on the freeway that somehow burned both sunrise and sunset directly into the driver's eyes. No wonder they believe in prayer; they create its necessary.

"I wouldn't mind a Prius but they're just too damned small. praecorloth"

Compared to what? I can fit my entire, assembled bicycle into my hatchback.

mattsciple wrote:

"I wouldn't mind a Prius but they're just too damned small. praecorloth"

Compared to what? I can fit my entire, assembled bicycle into my hatchback.

I needs to be able to fit my rifle case into the trunk of whatever car I buy next. The legality of how I'm transporting it now is sort of grey. I'd like to make it unquestionably law abiding. So by that standard, even my Taurus is too damned small.

mattsciple wrote:

My other favorite practice was their habit of repainting new lanes on the highway and leaving the old ones underneath. Nothing like driving between two 18 wheelers when the lane you seem to be in comes to a point and disappears!

Speaking of lane line painting, my #1 most annoying spot on Minneapolis highways is the entrance/exit lane between 11th Street and Hennepin/Lyndale on 94W. They painted a double white line there about a year ago to try to improve the merging situation there. It would work wonderfully if people would follow it.

First of all...who doesn't know that a double white line is not to be crossed? That's basic traffic knowledge. Aside from that, there are SIGNS that say, "DO NOT CROSS DOUBLE WHITE LINE". And yet, people cross the line. And people look at me like I'm being a jerk if I don't let them merge into the traffic lane. I want a sign on my car that says, "Sorry, but it's illegal for you to cross the line right now. You should wait, as I am, until the line is dotted again."

I need to stop talking about traffic. Seriously. It makes me angry.

nomnnice wrote:

Speaking of lane line painting,

Oh dude, that reminds me. Saint Louis Park, 394 going west, get off at Louisiana. There's a stop light there, with two left turn lanes and a right turn lane. Going left you'll get on to a bridge where there are two legitimate lanes, and a left turn lane to get on to 394 east. This never ever fails, despite the pretty dotted line they painted so people should know where they're going. If you're in the left most turn lane, you should expect to be in the left most actual lane when you complete your turn. The people in the right left turn lane will do everything they can to make sure that you know your proper place is the left turn lane for 394 east. Never ever fails.

I find nothing in this world more frustrating than exiting off of 394 East at Hennepin/Lyndale (right by Dunwoody), and coming up to the right turn onto Henn/Lyndale.....and finding a bunch of stopped cars.

YOU HAVE YOUR OWN LANE WHEN YOU TURN. TURN!!!!

I want to stand there with a sign and yell at people who stop and wait for a place to merge. You have an entire lane that exists JUST FOR YOU!

I scream at people every time I'm at that corner. It's unhealthy.