'Unmarried Lady, You Are A Nicely Formed Lump Of Cookery Sugar.'
Reports Katharine With One Dog Only: "I'm editing a play by a client overseas. Part of my job is to 'translate' his English into idiomatic American English. My favorite section so far takes place at a singles dance:
"Character 1: 'Unmarried Lady, you are a nicely formed lump of cookery sugar. I like to look at you with my eyeballs.'
"Character 2: 'Man of Foulness, remove your eyeballs, or I must shriek for my large and alert brother who wears the heavy uniform of the Army officer who has killed many men with his bare hands.'
"Character 1: 'Please agree to dance with me, Unmarried Lady. I assure you that the look of you fills me with overwhelming. I look at you with my eyeballs and I almost die.'
"Character 2: 'Disgusting Man, of what importance is it to me that you die? Go away! I never agree to dance with one who has such large thumbs. It is impossible.' "