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Real Self Esteem
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Post Real Self Esteem 
http://www.nathanielbranden.com/catalog/articles_essays/what_self_esteem.html

Brilliant author of the Six Pillars of Self Esteem talks about what real self esteem is and what it does.

What's the best way to teach children a balanced view of compassion and personal accountability?

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Interesting stuff.

Here's what my parents did:

When I was 15, about to get my driver's license, my dad would regularly take the car out bright and early on a Saturday morning, purposefully crash it into the biggest snowbank he could find in the neighborhood, wake me up, and tell me to figure out how to dislodge it. He made me take a tire off the car and put it back on 3 times before I was allowed behind the wheel for the first time. Once, after picking my sister up from a school event, he pulled over in Hopkins (we lived in Eden Prairie), gave her some money, and told her to figure out the bus system. He left her there on the side of the road and drove home.

At the time, we thought he was a mean old poopy pants. Now, of course, my sister and I are among the most competent, confident, and self-assured people we know. I'm not easily thrown into a woe-is-me, I-don't-know-how-to-cope-with-this tizzy. And I'm pretty sure I could find my way out of just about any pickle.

So...more parents could try those tactics. Laughing

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Wow. Great stuff. It was a difficult lesson for me as a parent to understand that what I didn't do for my kids was often as important as what I did do.

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thrice wrote:
Wow. Great stuff. It was a difficult lesson for me as a parent to understand that what I didn't do for my kids was often as important as what I did do.


Absolutely. Nothing instills confidence and self-esteem like being thrown into the deep end and figuring out, quickly, on your own, how to swim. I'm a firm believer in that. Parents who coddle their children, thinking they're doing them a favor, need a serious wake-up call.

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Post Ayn Rand 
said all this in Atlas Shrugged decades ago. I like the method of D's father but it's probably equally if not more important for the parent(s) to be models of competence and good self-esteem. Easier to be captain of your own ship after you've seen other captains in action.

For the last couple of decades, it was an accepted tenet of the liberal educational establishment that
it was the lack of self-esteem that hinders kids from learning. The problem with that is that young black kids test off the charts for self-esteem but at some point they sink educationally anyway if they can't do the work. And then their self-esteem plummets.

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