padre's challenge

Rants and raves. Everyone's got a bone to pick!
Post Reply
bubbafrombalt
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:38 am
Location: annapolis,md.

padre's challenge

Post by bubbafrombalt » Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:23 am

well padre,you asked for it,,,
i do not know if this is fair or not however i will proceed at my own risk and discretion. At one time or another in my life of approximately 49 to 158 years i was ... I remember when i was 4 or maybe 5 and my parents would have these magnificent friday nite or saturday nite parties. After all were partied out my sister and brother would bar-tend for our selves of course being very quite so as to not awake anyone. We would combine any left overs to create who knows what type of concoctions though I have no recollection of drinking them. I believe this falls under the category of, " If I did everything they said I did than I sure must of had a ball". Probably the beginning of the brain cell melt down that i was to hear about later in life, after i left my home state of Tennessee. You know its kinda funny that while in that backwards, hillbilly state that this kind of exploration and curiosity from kids as well as young adults was widely expected and there was never a big issue or ruckus raised because of it. Maybe it was acceptable to grow up experiencing things first hand. Fortunately I did not have hypocrites for parents but intelligent people as we all know are mighty hard to find. I don't know how i did that one but.... To continue.... We as a family moved to Maryland when i was 6 or 7 and I remember being the complete outcast upon starting school and meeting my new contemporary peers, what with my southern accent and friendly ways I was completely dork, dork, dork. However I was country wise and never ashamed nor afraid to ask my parents for council in troubled times. Of course at that time I was completely unaware of their intelligence and I thought that time had left them behind. At any rate once here in MD. I soon started adapting and changing as to be excepted and loved by all. Ya'll have to understand now that I had a sister that was 2 years older than me that led to many adventures with the opposite sex what with me being the younger brother there were many experiments conducted in my bedroom as well as everywhere else through-out the house when the parents weren't home,twas great fun as well as one hell of a learning experience for a 10 year old . Then there was my older brother who was introducing me to the pleasures of controlled dangerous substances that he had started discovering as he journeyed thru art schools he attended on both the east and west coasts. At my parents expense no less. To this day he is a brother starving artist but one of the happiest and fulfilled people that i know.
Now you can put 2 and 2 together and imagine a country wise and city slick 10 year old who has been blessed with sex and drugs and rock-n-roll. No wonder I'm deranged a taste as well as mentally unstable. Infamous words are tattooed upon my back, "What A Long Strange Trip It's It's Been", Thanx Jerry. fortunately my brother introduced me to the Grateful Dead, Big Brother And The Holding Co., Quicksilver,Etc. before my mind matured and i got destroyed from the F.M. trap.
As i grew and matured ya'll can probably imagine the many dilemmas that I created for myself as well as my parents, lets see, arrested 26 times before the tender young age of 18, made it to tenth grade three times never to get any further, I think I was maybe a bit rebellious in my youth, totaled my first car at 13, fortunately no one was seriously injured and no I did not have a driving license, countless experiences of every sort imaginable but to this day I can say they were all mischievous not malicious and I don"t think any one was hurt physically. Of course other than myself and those brain cells previously mentioned. Speaking of damaged brain cells, I recall in one of my trips thru tenth grade that a teacher made a comment regarding drugs destroying brain cells and I have done the math. Now I believe I was told that I had Approx. 7,045,654,674,420, Thats 7 trillion, 45 billion, 654 million, 674 thousand, and four hundred and twenty brain cells and that at the rate I was going I was distroying approx. 2 million per day due my drug and alchohol intake. At the time I was told this I was 17 years and 149 days old. Now I am 49 Years and 309 days old so the best I can figure and remember I have distroyed alot of them cells and
that I should only have , hold on a minute, i'm goin to have to use both my fingers and toes for this math, 32 years times 365 days is mmmmm 11680 days plus 160 additional days totals 11840 total days at 2 million per day minus 8 days for good behavior plus 76 days of incarceration in a drug free institute, believe it or not, totals 11756 days at 2 mil per day equals 23,512,000,000. obviously i can and will continue to indulge as there are plenty of them little cells left. Peace
Now please feel free to check my math but I think i'm right on this one and all should attempt this small test jus to make sure yer not completely brain dead. Maybe abit drain bamaged but still functioning in a somewhat suitable manner although this is obvious if you have gotten this far into my brief auto-biography.
Padre, I hope i'll be able to continue this story later and not be penalized to harshly as i sure would like to have you take me to dinner,
To be cont.....
Bubba

padrewu
Posts: 594
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 1:12 pm
Location: Misanthrope Heights
Contact:

Ya got a pertty mouth?

Post by padrewu » Sun Jul 29, 2007 5:56 pm

Bubba- There’s crazy. And then there’s country-crazy. You’re the best of both.

I did the math, but didn’t give you time off for good behavior, (since you pull plenty of double-shifts, working your nervous system well into the night… and sometimes into the next day). But to tell you the truth, no calculator or abacus can track your brilliant buzz crafting as a living art form. Art is as art does, (or drinks, or smokes, or sniffs, or… God help us.)

There is one outstanding matter at hand:
Ya'll have to understand now that I had a sister that was 2 years older than me that led to many adventures with the opposite sex what with me being the younger brother there were many experiments conducted in my bedroom as well as everywhere else through-out the house when the parents weren't home,twas great fun as well as one hell of a learning experience for a 10 year old.
This reads- and pardon me if I’m wrong- that your lab partner during this experimental phase was your… sister! Mix in the part about being from Tennessee and I’m beginning to hear the incestuous sounds of banjos picking…

Please advise.

Saturnal
Posts: 72
Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 1:39 am

Post by Saturnal » Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:41 pm

I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything while I was reading this, or my nose would be dripping and burning.

angio5
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 11:25 pm
Location: Minneapolis

Siren's Call

Post by angio5 » Mon Jul 30, 2007 11:40 pm

My older brother used to lock me in the garage and make me bench press weights. After I grew tired, he would hang and dangle long strings of spit over me, before sucking back in. At this time, I was only 10 years-old, and I hated him.

Four years later, he started going on Dead tour, and mellowed immensly, and turned me on as well. I appreciated him for it.

Gone were the days of bench-pressing. Enter in the days of pot smoking, Cool Ranch Doritos, and geeking out in front of the stero with the Dead’s One From the Vault.

Throughout all of this, we were never attracted to siren’s call of the Tennessee banjo.

Go figure.

bubbafrombalt
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:38 am
Location: annapolis,md.

padre's challenge

Post by bubbafrombalt » Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:10 am

padrewu,
upon receiving your reply and reviewing it with utmost discretion and grammatical resources available to me in my small and somewhat addled brain as well as webster's finest and most latest updated addition i believe i may have to maybe explain myself and said statements made in my posting to relieve myself as well as my fellow tennesseeans of any and all further implications of incestuous behavior. i know well of our exististing reputation as a whole and i did'nt mean it as it was written. you see, let me try to splain some, this is a tough one but here goes....
with having a sister 2 years my senior i was blessed with many experiences with her girlfriends that were begining to, how to best put it, come of age, and courious of the new feelings they were having in their most private parts. there, i think i did that well and hopefully offended no one. other wise said i was a boy toy subjectted to many delightful experiments of the sexual nature that i as a budding young man did thourghly enjoy and still relish and think of occasionally. I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH MY SISTER. many of other peoples sisters and maybe a few farm critters if they would stay still long enough, hey, being from the south i had to throw that one in. but i did not have any insestuous thoughts that i recall. i did at one point i think fall in love with a young heffer cow named Mabelle but i do honestly at this time in my life think that was more infactuation than anything else. damn, i still remenber them big brown eyes. and boy, you should have seen that 14 inch, nevermind, i did not mean to go there. i was younger then, still working on my growing up. you know, that maturing thing we were always told about but never understood. remember being told to grow up and act more mature? hell, look at us now. ya know , i still have not figured out what i'm going to do with my life and i'm what, 40 something years old. as bobby says,"going to hell in a bucket, but at least i'm enjoying the ride".
now i hope that clears up the issue of there being any large fore headed, cross-eyed, mumbling incoherently bubbas roaming about out there that may claim to belong to me and maybe now i can continue with the story.
to be continued, you ain,t goin to believe this but Trip is coming to visit mama-wu and i for a few days and i have to leave this story wait awhile in order to assure that i will have enough substance on hand coupled with what i antisipate him bringing along with him from the great cheese state of the obviously unhappy cow as i have learned recently that happy cows live only in california, at least according to television. But please rest assured that as long as ya'll keep replying i,ll keep on replyin to. and meanwhile, back on the farm, gran-ma keeps on beatin off the indians an the indians keep coming.
later,
bubba

mattsciple
Posts: 752
Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 8:47 am

Post by mattsciple » Thu Aug 02, 2007 9:15 am

For the record, bubba, I got it. The sister's friends vs sisters as sex ed instructors part, anyway. But being from the South, I know most of that cousin marryin' is largely confined to remote villages in Appalachia, and no more prevalent than here in the enlightened north.

You seem delightfully mad. I hope you stick around.

bubbafrombalt
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:38 am
Location: annapolis,md.

padre's challenge

Post by bubbafrombalt » Mon Aug 06, 2007 3:19 pm

mattsciple,
thanx for the support as i need any and all i can get. i did have me alot of fun back in dim days,what, being young, innocent,and somewhat crazy with more curious, adventuring young girls than i could shake a stick at. i'll continue with my story as soon as padre responds to my clarification.

bubbafrombalt
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:38 am
Location: annapolis,md.

padre's challenge

Post by bubbafrombalt » Thu Aug 09, 2007 12:12 am

well, since obviously padre is hanging me out to dry here on tis one, i'll try to continue on without his unilateral and somewhat casual councel. i really do want this dinner date with him and now that he has thrown in some log jam thingies, hell, if need be i'll write continuesly until, nevermind, pardon me , startin to ramble again,sumtin to do with substance abuse i'm sure.
as my life continues, an where did i leave off? seems like i was just startin to get on a roll and here we go again with these dam deestractions, i promise to continue this thing as time affords,pardon me but , gotta go

padrewu
Posts: 594
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 1:12 pm
Location: Misanthrope Heights
Contact:

Post by padrewu » Fri Aug 10, 2007 6:05 pm

Noted- Bubba did NOT pick his sister's banjo.

All's well that ends well...

bubbafrombalt
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:38 am
Location: annapolis,md.

padres challenge

Post by bubbafrombalt » Sat Sep 08, 2007 2:42 am

well now that that deestraction has been most formiably and efficiently resolved, in other words i've come down somewhat what 23 days or so later, i'll have to try to find that dudes # when time permits, i'll try to pick up where i lft off....
well, trip has been and gone twice since we last talked and only took with him approx. 234,355,456 more o dem little cell thingies previously mentioned and i wanted to get to the next stages of my early developmental processes. about the time that i was 14 or so my crazy bro decided that i was mature enough to start into the manufacturing process and distributing of some things to further assist him in his new found industry. i remember when he decided we could turn a healthy profit in the chocholate mesc buisness if we could figure out how to turn 30 or maybe 50 somethin hits of recently aquired hits of lcd into 1000 capsules of chocolate mesc @ bout a buck a hit not a bad profit margin for the minimal investment required
hell, all we needed was a box of nestles chocolate and a bunch of easily obtained geletan capsuletes. smashy,smashy, mix,mix, stuff and bingo we could be millionaires by the time we were 20 and 16 reflectivly and if the Dead found out about us we could also maybe be famous and maybe even get some of dem backstage passes at the next show....
well, all was goin good at around 3 in the mornin in the family room at our parents home after capsulatin about half of our product but what we failed to think of was that lickin your fingers was probably not the best way to keep them clean during the process of, well that was about the time the shit really startin kickin in and dam i can testify things started gettin really fuckin wierd in that family room but bein the intelligent and industrious young folks we were we figured out our goof up and decided to chill fer awhile, maybe lay out in the back yard awhile and watch the grass grow some,ya know, enjoy the ride some. that was cool for afew hours and sure enough we did return to earth somewhere around the time our parents were goin to work and thank god for them havin to go to work for that gave us the intire day to complete our little project and come up with a good story as to explain to them and our sister as to how the family cat got not only dead but hung up in a ceiling light fixture in the newly created totally destroyed family room/mesculine lab with no power due to a tripped fuse thingy. something to do with cat couriositty,chocolate,nestley stuff, open bowls not bein properly secured, fluttering moths.....
now you really know the story about goin to hell in a bucket and enjoyin the ride, and we were out a lot of product to boot. cats, i still don't like em. oh well, nother learnin experiment...
more to follow as time allows,
Bubba,
p.s. how bout lettin me mash dem taters for thanxgivin

bwoodsdesign
Posts: 331
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 4:01 pm
Location: St. Paul, MN
Contact:

Post by bwoodsdesign » Sun Sep 09, 2007 11:38 am

What the holy hell is all this about??

Not sure I wanna know...

bubbafrombalt
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:38 am
Location: annapolis,md.

padre's challenge

Post by bubbafrombalt » Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:23 am

me ponders,... me thinks,.......
adoolesencce "SEX, DruGs and rock n rolll
ueeeeaahhhhhhaaaa
or sum such attemptted

bubbafrombalt
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:38 am
Location: annapolis,md.

padre's challenge

Post by bubbafrombalt » Sat Oct 06, 2007 5:01 pm

dam padre, i don believe how you have neeglected me an my ramblin. tis could haunt you in the future as you well know that i be plannin a road trip come turkey day. i think your aware that it is approx. 1,172.23 miles from my secret and of course undisclosed location here at 1719 Shadyside Dr. Edgewater, Maryland 21037 an you know dam well how i drive so do the math, I'll have exactly 14 or maybe 18 or 32 hrs. on the road to plan my retaliation plus the additional time that i will have between now and my projected an well planned departure time. i think? i should be leavin here soon but i fergot where the hell it was that i was goin. dam them CDS's. i thinks maybe we be havin a small neucleur meltdown here in edgewater, but you know you can trust me to continue with my plannin and this damn story as soon as i can...
2 b continued.......,
love, bubs

padrewu
Posts: 594
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 1:12 pm
Location: Misanthrope Heights
Contact:

Post by padrewu » Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:37 pm

Sorry about your experience at FedEx Field. There's nothing like MNF to rub it in.

bubbafrombalt
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:38 am
Location: annapolis,md.

padres challenge

Post by bubbafrombalt » Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:31 pm

now padre, what in the hell does fed ex field have to do with kitties, ceiling lights, brain cell thingies, or even accusitory banjo pikin? sometimes you lead me to believe that maybe you have possibly mis led me concerning your never having experimented with cds's. i think now would be as good a time as ever to come clean. ya know, maybe be a little honest with us otherlings,ya know who we are, "the little people". you can talk to me here in total confidentiality an trust me that no one will find out. come on, open up, i promise not to tell a soul. now i thinks is the oppertunity you have been waiting for to free your soul of the weight you've been carrying for so many years. trust me here and you will feel better. i know i felt better..... and by the way, Minnesota Vikings 1-3
Washington Redskins 3-1 do the math
with all my love and sympathy,
bubs

bubbafrombalt
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Dec 12, 2006 12:38 am
Location: annapolis,md.

padres challenge

Post by bubbafrombalt » Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:43 pm

well as all can see there is no reply from "p" the MNF. notice how his name has recently been reduced to a lower, an i do mean lower case p... ya know its not nice to fool wid bubba when it comes to Joe G. an d skins. We may not be the best team out there but at least we're inconsistent.
but that aside i am still lookin for a response to fuel the fire of the story that be started. i warned all that this could take a little time and maybe even confuse a few. however it is all in the sake of havin fun with all these little thingies on my laptop. and of course the reputation that can be earned that comes with telling any story while reportingly under the influence of the infamous cds's. hell, i can even make up words an get away it without an argument here, very cool. ima waitin.
wannabumpbubbafrombalt
P.S. figure them 7 out an yer gettin closer

Post Reply